Consequences that Make Sense
Discipline is already so difficult to manage, that we often worry about if we are doing it right. Well, there are definitely wrong ways to do it, that has to be said. At the end of the day however, it’s rare for that to be the case. What might be happening is the consequence for the action simply might not make sense for the behavior. It might make sense to you at the time, but if it doesn’t make sense to your little one, then it’s not going to work. So here are some things to think about when picking a consequence for your little one.
Make sure it matches the bad behavior. This means basically if they accidentally did something, give them a chance to apologize before taking all the things away. If they mouthed off (yes, children under five do this), then discuss with them what’s wrong and why what they did was wrong. If they don’t get it and then continue to mouth off, try taking away an entertainment system. Here it’s YouTube. Something that talks to them. It’s extremely important to talk to them though, because they might have been expressing themselves for a real reason, just in a really inappropriate way. They don’t know that though. They just know that screaming gets your attention.
That’s pretty much the most difficult two. The rest kind of make sense, such as, if they throw something at you, take that thing away. Or if they hit you, remove them from your presence (don’t hit back, it leads to more hitting), so that you can show you won’t tolerate being in the room with someone that is violent.
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There are times when your child is going to become so attached to something that it can be used as leverage for everything. Be careful with this power. It can be abused. Also they are usually only attached to the thing for about a week at most.
Follow through with your threats. If you want to be taken seriously, then you have to take yourself seriously. This means you have to be careful with the threats you use. If you say you’re going to take away all the toys, then you either have to take away all the toys, or remember never to say that again, because they won’t believe you. It’s why small threats are a lot better than big ones. Easier follow through.
Consistency is really the most important part of any discipline that you use. Also what makes sense to you, might not make sense to your child, so watch for their reaction. If they seem confused, then you might want to reconsider what you’re doing. At the end of the day you’ll figure it out I promise.
