For the Love of Patience
Patience (noun): the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
I recently wrote a blog post about my experience as a doula and as a mother on waiting for a child to be born. I’ll be the first to tell you that in my own pregnancy, I was far from patient. I did not know what I was having. I did not know who he or she would look like. I did not know if they would be born with 12 fingers as I was (an awesome family trait passed down the generations). It got me thinking:
Why are we impatient with things that surround our child?
From the moment of conception, we are anxious to know the sex of our child. Once we know the sex, we are dying to buy clothes for our child. Once we near the end of a pregnancy, we can no longer wait for our child to be born. Once they are born, we cannot wait until they can speak. The list goes on.
When did we become a society that does not revel in the process of things just happening? Why are we so quick to jump to being angry?
With all of the Starbucks chains, Dunkies and other popular fast food/beverage chains, with all of the “Get Rich Quick” schemes, I get it. We want something and we want it now. Not now, but yesterday and if we receive something in a manner that was not up to par with our expectations, we get upset. We react negatively. But a child, and everything surrounding our child, should be something that we practice patience with. After all, when they are born, patience is needed on those long nights of no sleep. Patience is needed when they do something against your will and need to be disciplined. Patience is needed when they learn to drive a car or when they get into a fight. These are all things that, as a parent, we all experience.
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Patience is one of the hardest virtues to have. I am most certainly the worst with this. But in thinking about how impatient I am for a doula client to give birth, I am challenging myself and those around me to be more thoughtful and more deliberate in this specific area. A simple shift of becoming more patient may just change the life of your child and how they react to stressful situations as a teenager and as an adult.
Be more patient with the car that is taking its sweet time in front of you, especially if your child is in the car. Your child is internalizing your every move and your every word. Impatience will manifest itself.
Take a break when you need to. Self care is important. If you cannot give yourself the time to breathe, you are not setting yourself up to be patient with your child.
Be more patient with the child who wants you to read a book just one more time. Maybe they just crave the soothing sound of your voice and your attention.
Be more patient with the child growing inside of you. Maybe your child just needs to be comforted within your womb for a bit longer than you anticipated.
Be patient.
