Straight Talk

Are you going to straighten your hair?

I wanted to take the time to address this. A lot of people have asked me this very question and I’ll admit, I struggled with my answer. There is this great thought that after returning natural, your hair will become healthier and stronger. Now you can do all these different styles with you hair like straighten it. Yes, that was sarcasm. No, I will not apologize. This is an opinion piece (my opinion), not fact.

I am not bothered by the fact that a lot of naturals straighten their hair. That is what they choose to do. What can be bothersome is when women tell me that I should straighten my hair for variety or a different style. No ma’am. This is not a true statement for me and let me tell you why. When people say straightening your hair is a different look or style, I agree. It is a style and it is different, but not for me. In the 30 years that I’ve been on this earth, my hair has been straight for about 25 of them. This is not a new style for me and there is no variety in that. I believe there is much more variety with my natural hair. There are so many styles with curly hair that I simply have not tried yet. Have you seen all the YouTube tutorials? I want to explore with my hair. I am only 2 years in with my natural hair journey and it truly has been a journey.

The truth is, it’s more than a style for me. It goes back to the reason I returned natural. I returned natural because I wanted my daughter to appreciate her hair. I wanted her to look in the mirror and be proud of the crown on her head. A lot of people may believe your hair doesn’t have to be curly for that. I respectfully disagree. In a country where the picture of beauty is viewed as someone who usually has a lighter complexion and straightened hair, it’s hard for me to believe that my daughter wouldn’t be swayed by that as well. Although, I am sure she will see many women who have that style, her constant support and ultimately her mirror will be me. I don’t plan on letting her down. When I was younger, I had my hair straightened. I never wore my hair curly. For me, my hair returning to its natural state was a disaster or a bad hair day. I eventually got tired of having bad hair days and had my hair relaxed. That is a mindset I never want to return to. My daughter will grow to make her own choices, but if one of those choices is to remain natural then I will be happy. I understand that beauty is not embodied in your texture or style of hair alone, but it weighs heavily on the mind of young black girls. Let’s stop pretending that it doesn’t. That is what I am aiming to change.
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Another reason I refuse to straighten my hair is through the belief that my curls are just for fun. Many women believe they need to slick their hair back or straighten their hair if they want to achieve a sophisticated look. If they desire to be taken seriously, they choose to straighten their hair. Why? I know why. They’ve been sucked into the belief that curly hair, frizzy hair, kinky hair, nappy hair is unkempt. Therefore it is not appropriate for business. Who told them that? Maybe it’s something they just believe on their own accord. Well, how did that come to be? Perhaps it came to be through the realization that most women of color had adapted the straightened look. We all know why that is. Back in the day, it was the only way we could get jobs and it has simply been passed down to the other generations. What if I told you, it will continue to be a problem in the workforce if you continue to succumb to their standard of beauty? Would you believe me? Would you be willing to change? The truth is, it will never change unless you do. It’s time for us to stand up and change the course for the next generation. It was done for us, or have you forgotten that?

I don’t mean to rant, but it’s the truth I believe in. Whether you do or not is all up to you. However, one thing I refuse to do is tell my daughter that the way she was designed is not acceptable in society. Which, in my opinion, is what you say every time you choose to straighten your daughter’s hair.

Now if you find yourself on the side offense, please don’t be. I understand there are many reasons women straighten their hair. Some women just like their hair straight, but prefer not have chemicals in it. I understand that. Some women really just want that one style they can’t achieve with their curls popping out of place. I understand that. That’s not what I am talking about. Please refer to the first three paragraphs. The point is, I don’t have a desire to return to my straightened hair days. Especially if it’s for variety or sophistication purposes. It’s not needed. Some people may be skeptical about me choosing to not straighten my hair. I can honestly tell you that I don’t see it in my future anytime soon. Peace and love y’all.