Dirty Looks

We talk a lot about how our own views can shape the natural hair community, but we rarely talk about how other races shape our views on natural hair. I’m not talking about media outlets because we all know how this can way heavily on our decision to return natural, but I’m talking about your next door neighbor and your coworkers.
There are so many people outside of our own race who truly don’t even blink when they see natural hair. They accept that not everyone has the same type of hair they have and really don’t care. There are also those out there giving out those “dirty looks”. I haven’t personally had anyone make me feel uncomfortable about returning natural, but I am in a space where I’m so comfortable in my skin now that I don’t think I would have really noticed. I do know there are many other women who have had to deal with this. I just want to know who you are and what happened?
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The problem is when this happens, it usually pushes you back into the shell of conforming to what society’s standards call “acceptable”. I’m not looking to be acceptable, but rather exceptional. The women that are confident and comfortable with relaxers, I’m not directing this toward you. You have made your choice and it’s solely based on what you prefer. I’m speaking to the ladies who truly want to let go of relaxers but are afraid of what people have said on the topic. I don’t want you to go into hiding. I know for some people they think the corporate world is not really the place for natural hair. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m a stay at home wife/mom now, but I came out of the corporate world. I worked in finance for almost 10 years before moving into insurance. I made this transition during my time working in finance. It was not the easiest transition. Thankfully, I had my husband, close friends, and family for support. I did have a couple of coworkers who were natural. One always wore wigs and the other had what society calls “acceptable” curly hair (in other words, she had those silky, defined curls). It was difficult during that time because I had just recently big chopped. So I understand. If it’s an issue in the workplace, I encourage you to go forward. If anyone makes an uncomfortable statement, make a fuss about it.  Your hair is not unkempt and I know that’s what some people believe.  They have succeeded in convincing you and many others of this very fact.

There are too many times that we have let others control our decisions. Other races are free to wear their hair in its natural form without any explanation. I’m tired of women, black women, having to explain their choice to return natural. You don’t owe that to anyone. Your hair is simply growing the way it would normally grow. In fact I would really love when the day comes we can stop referring to ourselves as natural. I don’t want to always have to attach a description to my name. When you see me, you see my curls. Announcing that I’m natural shouldn’t be necessary. Of course for those in our community who don’t know me personally and would like information or encouragement, I attach natural in my description so that you know you’re not alone. For everyone else, it’s not needed. It seems to me that while we attempt to explain our freedom we, unknowingly, return to bondage. Sure, we are natural haired and free, but you still have to explain why and when you do you add one more link to the chain.  Let’s talk about it.